Random Hearts
by surrendersomething
Summary: Carter/Abby. They were together...but something happened to draw them apart. *3rd and final chapter up* A happy reunion?
1. The end of the world

**__**

Random Hearts

****

Chapter One: The end of the world

~

Why does the sun go on shining?  
Why does the sea rush to shore  
Don't they know it's the end of the world  
'Cause you don't love me any more?

~

He rolled over, stretching an arm out to encircle her sleeping form and draw her back into his embrace, from which she had somehow slipped away from during the night. Yet instead of feeling the warm, soft skin he was expecting, all his hand hit was the cold, stark reality of the white sheets. 

She wasn't there any more.

A solitary tear slipped down his cheek as he retreated into memories of happier times, as if they would somehow bring her closer to him again.

They wouldn't. She was thousands of miles away now. 

And she'd left him empty. Emptier than he'd ever felt. Emptier than he'd ever imagined it was possible to feel. He didn't know what to do without her by his side.

The days blurred into one, regressing into the routine of a lonely person. Regressing to the feelings and actions he thought he'd left behind.

~

Why do the birds go on singing?  
Why do the stars glow above?  
Don't they know it's the end of the world?  
It ended when I lost your love.

~

Everything continued as normal. Everyone continued as normal. They missed her, but people come and go. It wasn't the end of the world. 

Yet to him, it was. He missed everything about her. Her soft smile. Her gentle kisses. Her tender caress. Her small hands, massaging his shoulders after a long day at work. 

Things would never be the same. 

She wasn't coming back. He'd never be able to watch her sleeping beside him, knowing that she was his, knowing that there was nowhere else she'd rather be. 

He couldn't understand what had driven her from him. What had caused her to make such a life-changing decision? Why had she taken away the only thing that made him happy – she'd taken herself away. And it was tearing him up inside. _  
_

~  
I wake up in the morning and I wonder  
why everything's the same as it was.  
I can't understand, no I can't understand  
How life goes on the way it does  
~

Reality dragged itself into his consciousness with the harsh shrill of the alarm clock. Another day was beginning. . .

Another day without her. 

He remembered the promise he'd made to her. "We're going to be okay." That was what he'd said. So what had changed? How did he miss the signs? Why didn't he know how she was feeling?

Why hadn't he tried to stop her from going? 

Why was everything else still the same? He dragged himself out of bed, desperate to get away from the memories that were now suffocating him. 

He turned on the shower, waiting patiently for the water to heat up. Yet with that patience came yet more memories. Their lives had seemed truly perfect. . .to him at least. 

He thought he knew her so well. So why was he wondering now whether he really knew her at all?

~  
Why does my heart go on beating?  
Why do these eyes of mine cry?  
Don't they know it's the end of the world?  
It ended when you said goodbye  
~

The water cascaded down from above him, forming rivulets on his skin. He didn't notice the temperature, which would have seemed almost scalding to anyone else. It had to him, at first. 

But that was how she'd always adjusted the temperature of the water. He didn't put up a fight, willing to put up with this unnatural temperature just to be close to her. 

Now he was used to it. He instinctively showered at that temperature. It was yet another distant reminder of her. But it didn't bring her any closer. It almost served to push her further away.

Remembering what used to be so good. 

He was crying now, freely. Salty tears mixing with the water. Emotions escaping, rushing into the open.

He was angry. Angry with the woman he loved more than anything in the world. Angry at her for leaving, for making him feel like this – for taking her love away from him. 

She'd ripped his heart into a thousand tiny pieces. And she was the only one who understood him well enough to put those pieces back together. She was the only one able to comfort him in a situation like this.

Yet she was the one causing all this pain. 

Didn't she know she'd ended his world? 

~  
Don't they know it's the end of the world?  
It ended when you said goodbye.

~

A/N: Well that was kinda different to stuff I normally write, but the idea wedged itself into a little corner of my brain and sat there yelling at me till I wrote it down. 

Big thanks (big _big **big **_thanks) to Lilliana, Tammy and Kate, you guys are stars. Thanks for pointing out my ridiculous mistakes and generally giving me the courage to post this. 

Insert disclaimer here Hmm. Own nothing. Mention no names. Therefore. . .(using authors twisted knowledge) breaking no laws. Oh, and the song's "The End Of The World" by Vonda Shepard. 

Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think, I'm open to any suggestions, how you'd like to see the story end (although I have a few ideas already) so either review or email at surrendersomething@yahoo.co.uk

~Sarah~


	2. A hundred tears away

**__**

Random Hearts

****

Chapter Two: A hundred tears away

~

Go ahead and cry now  
Just give in to the madness.  
The only way to feel your joy  
is to first feel the sadness.  
~

The cold, lonely hotel room didn't appear any more welcoming in the light of yet another day. She wasn't sure what had brought her here, what had possessed her to drive that exact same route they'd driven, simply stopping at a different place. 

Oklahoma. She didn't even particularly like the place. It was meant to bring back unhappy memories of the bad times. 

So why could she only think about the fact that he'd been with her – he'd sensed the fact that she'd needed support and had accompanied her as a friend…

Or so she'd thought at the time. 

She realised now what she should have realised then. That had been yet another pivotal moment in their relationship, even though the physical relationship hadn't started for another couple of years.

And now, could it really be over? Was that it? Was that all the happiness they deserved? And was it her fault?

That was enough. Enough to make the tears come once again. But she wasn't crying for herself. She was crying for him, and the pain she'd inflicted upon him. 

~  
You're a long way from somewhere you call home, yeah  
there's a place in your heart, and you're not alone.  
All of the happiness you seek  
all of the joy for which you pray.  
Is closer than you think  
it's just a hundred tears away.  
~

She missed everything about him. The way he dropped gentle butterfly kisses on the nape of her neck when he wanted something. The way his fingers would trace lazy patterns over her skin to warm her up when the temperature dropped. 

The way he always told her they were going to be okay, and somehow made her believe it. How sometimes the only thing he wanted to do, the only thing he could do, was hold her.

Above all that, there was one thing she missed the most.

His gentle, unique style of lovemaking, and his ability to make her feel like the only woman in the world, just for a while. And then they way they'd lay in the dark long after their lovemaking had ceased, limbs intertwined as they talked into the early hours of the morning. 

Why? 

Why did she leave the one man she loved…the one man who knew her? She was the only one who could answer that question…

And she didn't have a clue what the answer was.

~  
Go ahead and listen  
Just give into the voices.  
You think you're backed into a corner  
but you've got so many choices.

~

She lifted herself out of the bed, pulling open the curtains, letting the sunlight stream in. Light bounced off every surface in the room, but did nothing to lift her mood. 

There was only one person who could lift her mood. 

And she'd pushed him away. Time and time again, refusing to let him in. Then convincing herself he didn't want to know, wouldn't want to listen…then wouldn't stay with her.

She couldn't bear the thought of him leaving her. So she decided it would be best to get it over with. Leave him, before she killed herself inside, wondering when it would happen. 

"I'm leaving. I'm sorry John." she'd whispered to the empty apartment, as she laid the pen on top of the note, in which she'd attempted to explain herself. 

And now she was here. She'd done what she'd set out to do, left him. But now there was nothing she wanted more than to be back in the safety of his arms once again. 

~  
You're a long way from somewhere you call safe  
Peace of mind comes from just one place.  
All of the happiness you seek  
all of the joy for which you pray.  
Is closer than you think  
it's just a hundred tears away.  
~

She turned the shower on, attempting to establish a routine of sorts. 

She used to hate routines. But that changed. A routine with him was nothing short of amazing. Knowing that she'd end up in his arms every night was something she'd been in no hurry to give up. 

Why hadn't he realised something was wrong? She'd been hoping all along that he'd pick up on what she was feeling, encourage her to explain it to him…

And then she could have stayed. 

But, she kept reminding herself; it was better this way – wasn't it? Or was that just an excuse for her actions? 

Who was she kidding? It was worse. A hundred times worse. 

She became vaguely aware of steam filling the bathroom, and realised how long she'd been standing there, mind filled with memories of happier times. 

~  
You're a long way from somewhere you call home,  
Whatever it is that'll make you feel good.  
You can have if you want  
if you knew that you could.  
It's closer than you think  
it's just a hundred tears away.

****

~

The water cascaded down from above her, forming rivulets on her skin. She remembered fondly how he'd hated the temperature she took showers at, but had got used to it for the sake of being close to her. 

Why did she think she could get away from these memories? Everything reminded her of him in some way. The sight of a particular object, or image, would spark off yet another distant reminder of him. But it didn't bring him any closer. It almost served to push him further away.

Remembering what used to be so good. 

She was crying now, freely. Salty tears mixing with the water. Emotions escaping, rushing into the open.

She was angry with herself. She knew she'd caused him more pain than anyone ever could…and that was saying a lot, considering what he'd been through. 

She couldn't live like this. It was tearing her apart, knowing that he was hurting every bit as much as she was. 

So, in that split second, she made her decision. 

A hundred tears had been cried. Her vision had been cleared. 

****

~

It's closer than you think

It's just a hundred tears away.

~

A/N: Okay, I'm too tired to do this bit. Music GCSE performances kinda take all your energy away. So, there's your Abby POV on the same thing. Umm, big thanks to Lilliana, Kate and Tammy again for generally being great and really encouraging! Thanks to everyone who reviewed. The song's 'A Hundred Tears Away' by Vonda Shepard. Enjoy.

~Sarah~ (surrendersomething@yahoo.co.uk)


	3. Chances are

**__**

Random Hearts

Chapter Three: Chances Are

__

~

Chances are you'll find me,   
somewhere on your road tonight.  
Seems I always end up driving by.   
Ever since I've known you,  
It just seems you're on my way,   
All the rules of logic don't apply.   
~

She climbed the stairs, instinctively skipping those that made a noise. Unlocking the door with the key he'd delighted in giving her, she made her way into the ever-familiar apartment, finding him fast asleep on the bed.

On one side of the bed. His side of the bed. They say old habits die-hard. 

In that first moment, standing there watching him, she knew in her heart that she'd made the right decision. She was meant to be with this man. There were no words to convince either of them otherwise. 

If she believed in fate, she'd say it was written in the stars. 

If he believed it fate, she'd tell him it was written in the stars.

But she settled for the only word that would come out of her mouth. Knowing he was a light sleeper, she took a deep breath, before exhaling, and speaking his name,

~  
I long to see you in the night   
Be with you 'til morning light.   
~

He was convinced it was a dream. Hearing her voice, softly speaking his name. He knew it couldn't be real. He didn't know where she was . . .

And for that matter, she wasn't coming back. She'd told him it was over.

Yet he had to open his eyes, just to check. And what he saw was more than he had ever dreamed of. She was standing at the foot of his bed, wearing the most adorable smile he'd ever seen. But there was a more serious side to her expression. The one that knew everything wasn't okay.

They both knew that a thousand 'I'm sorrys' couldn't make this better. They both knew that she couldn't say anything to excuse the hurt she'd caused him, and they both knew she couldn't even explain it to herself.

But all that he could focus on was the fact that she was there. Standing in front of him. And so he stood up, ever so slowly, extending a hand towards her. 

She took it . . .

~  
I remember clearly how you looked   
The night we met.   
I recall your laughter and your smile.   
I remember how you made me   
feel so at ease.   
I remember all your grace and your style.   
~

She accepted his olive branch . . . or at least his extended hand. It meant more to her than he knew. She'd returned, completely ready for him to tell her she'd hurt him too much. 

Hurt him one time too many.

Pushed him away.

She was ready to leave, alone. 

But she didn't have to face that task. Closing the distance between them, she pressed her lips gently to the corner of his mouth. Moving then, capturing his soft lips fully with hers, in a kiss that spoke more than a thousand words. 

So similar to their first kiss. So full of promise, expectation . . . unspoken words which would be expressed eventually.

Just not at that moment. She pressed her forehead to his as a tear slid down her cheek. It took them seconds to realise that one tear was mixing with his.

~  
And now you're all I long to see   
You've come to mean so much to me.   
~

They were crying at the intense, beautiful emotion of the situation, and at being together again. 

She really was all he'd ever want. He didn't know how to communicate it to her. Somehow words seemed so inappropriate. They would spoil the atmosphere, break the spellbound feeling.

For now, savouring the moment would have to do.

After all, they do say actions speak louder than words.

So he captured her lips once again, all the time keeping it gentle, tender. Not wanting to pressurise her. 

He couldn't help but wonder if it was his fault. Whether he'd been piling pressure on her with his constant offers of help. Well now he'd change. The ball was in her court. 

He sat back on the bed, drawing her into his embrace as she sank into his lap. His lips traced a well-known path down her neck, stopping at the collar of her shirt.

~  
Chances are I'll see you   
somewhere in my dreams tonight.   
You'll be smiling like the night we met   
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer   
All I have.  
~

His gentle brown orbs gazed up at her, silently asking if she wanted him to continue . . .

Her finger tracing the line of his lip and her hand gently resting on the back of his neck gave him the answer.

Again, words weren't needed. 

They knew exactly how far to push and pull. The knew how far their physical relationship could go in this one night. This was their reunion. 

Hands tracing familiar paths over skin. Running through hair as silken as remembered. Massaging shoulders as tense as remembered. Arms encircling the well-known form. Fingertips tracing the ever sensitive area of skin.

But that was where it stopped. 

As much as she wanted to lose herself in his arms, in his touch . . . in him, she knew that physical connections wouldn't solve the problems they were facing. 

~  
And I'll be dreaming of the future   
and hoping you'll be by my side.   
And in the morning I'll be longing   
for the night, for the night.   
~

He leans back against the headboard, guiding her head to it's perfect resting place under his chin. 

Their relationship was far, far from perfect. 

Perhaps it never would be perfect. Perfection isn't everything. What's everything are the emotional connections you can make out of those imperfections. 

Sometimes, they wonder whether it's all worth it. Sometimes, it seems as though things are destined to go wrong. 

But their lives are intertwined in a way that's impossible to reverse.

Entwined in each other's arms, they are finally somewhere they feel they belong once again. 

Yet now they are faced with the impossible task of finding the words to explain why this reunion had to happen at all.

It won't be easy. Neither of them are that naïve.

Two random hearts, drawn together by an unknown force.

They'll make it. Somehow, someway.

~  
You're the only one I can't forget   
Baby you're the best I've ever met   
~

****

~The End~

A/N: So there it is. The end. I was considering doing more, but I feel that would ruin it. Uhh…again big thanks to Lilliana and 

Tammy – you guys have been stars.

Insert disclaimer here as author cannot be bothered to write one

The song is "Chances Are" by Vonda Shepard and Robert Downey Jr.

Thanks for all your great reviews, I hope you've enjoyed the ending

~Sarah~ (surrendersomething@yahoo.co.uk)


End file.
